1. “I knew it!”
Even if you did know it, please pass on the opportunity to tout your psychic abilities (or your weird claim that you unconsciously smelled my pheromones. ew). When women say this, it usually means that they noticed your waist got a little bigger, or as one woman told me, “you had the waddle.” If it’s a man telling you this, then he might as well just say “Boobs,” because that’s what he noticed. I promise.
2. Any version of that horrific birth story you heard/witnessed/experienced
Just don’t. Even if you think you are going to save your pregnant friend from pure disaster by recommending that she skip the epidural, or run screaming from the birth center, you won’t. Chances are she has read all the horror stories and is staying awake at night thinking of them. But as soon as you tell her those stories…
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